Is it ill-conceived to title a narrative after an act of elimination?
You could call it hubris...
...or urgency. or purgency. or pungency. or poogency. or number2gency.
Maybe you take it easy, bring a periodical.
Maybe you get quantitative, set up a clock, use the bathroom scale (bleh).
Whether you're shamed by your gastrointestinal trumpeting or it invokes hearty belly laughs and cheering, you can't escape
the morning turtle.
And if you could, who'd want to?