Sestina-ku

A sestina is a closed form of poetry, meaning that there is a set number of lines without variation.  A sestina has six stanzas, where the end words repeat in a certain pattern, followed by a three line envoi which utilizes all six repeating words in their original order.  

 13

every day walking

meditation silent song

work eat sleep waken

seedeaters gather

grass as bricks sky as shingling

spring's preparations

no preparation

for lung'd catfish flop walking

dank pond scum shingling

caught fish sigh a song

filet knife blood lust gathers  

hunger awakens

nestlings awaken

to woodcutter preparations

as tree fear gathers

working men walking

dark industry's cheery song

boots with no inkling

light crude makes wings cling

dark tentacles of kraken

no more orca song

decrepit haitians

forgotten wounded walking

disregard gathers

uneasy cat herds

in the abbey nuns winking

as gods go walking

a saint's hand wakens

mocking gods preparations

and plenary songs

madmen sing of songs

as salt in creases gathers

no preparation

no truthy inkling

from which we will awaken

compassion's walking

walking songs lay waste

fear awakens faith's gather'd

wrinkling congregations

Consensual hallucination

Footsore from shattered mirror and glass, both products of drowsy night-time fumbling.
(No allusion to that joyous night-time fumbling of two -- this was a sadly solo incident; sleep the only bodily function I'd hoped for.)

Ankle aching -- past indiscretions and injuries amplified by the old-timer's mantra: there's a storm coming.

I can feel it in me bones.

Maybe this is the way of it!  Short snipings of random thoughts and lines, jotted down and entered into the fold...

Collective unconscious.  Analogous idea, cross-cultural, multilingual. The notion defies their own Babel-esque expressions.  Again, some details change; secondary, tertiary, quaternary ideas, multiple forkings of thought amplify that different-ness, but at that lowest level the kernel of truth.

So, my self is defined by my thoughts and also by (what I perceive to be) the thoughts of those that I care about and interact with.  Thoughts are brain processes that depend on electrolytic exchanges across membranes; electrical charges, action potential transmuting into action itself; axons splashing +'s and -'s onto dendrites (the particulars escape me, please forgive the imprecision).  Sentient life thinks in this way.  The same process that occurs right at this moment in my bone-dome is happening across the planet in the skulls of nearly all other meat&bone tubes extant.  Yours too, reader!  Even bridged by whatever gap of time that flowed between my fingers skittering across a grubby laptop and your moist orbs seeing and relaying this all -- still the synapses heave to.

So the point? God (and gods for that matter) do exist, but only as much as we exist (I think).  My particular meat&bone tube is real, and the dharma is real, and God and Ganesh and Krishna and Siva and Allah and Avelokitesvara and Kuanyin are real insofar as sodium and potassium ions are really sliding around up there, behind these eyes. Insofar as if we all die off, so will they.

Again, the koans express it well:

Does a dog have Buddha-nature?

http://xkcd.com/

From the ashes....

New semester about to start.

Renewed effort to post daily.

This journey. This life.

Far as I can tell, my consciousness in this form has the one chance.  Even now, 12 months into consistent, weekly study into the rigid ways of my JW kinfolk, my lack of belief remains.  I remain fairly certain that there is no God -- at least, not as perceived by religious types.  Not to overstep into the metaphysical, but I also doubt whether we truly exist as individual entities, but rather as very convincing manifestations of cerebral processes.  It is simply agreed upon that our corporeal selves are truth, and that the tubes of bone&meat we encounter are each other; separate and distinct.

Difficult to talk about this stuff without sounding cliche or unoriginal or too full of myself, but there it sits. Something about the JW view (and I guess the views of religions of the book in general) seems hubristical. This presumption that our self is unique from the zero point, and will remain so in some after life.  It seems more likely that just like stories, lives are largely analogous.  Aside from small details (where, admittedly, the devils often live, and to truly unique results) there are different archetypes or paths or skills trees that people are defined by, and aside from those devilish details, a personal story-arc is fairly unoriginal and predictable.  Not to discount these lives! Great comfort, love, family, personal struggle and growth, challenges and successes and the like can be present in the predictable. But a truly unique existence?  This is a very rare thing, methinks.

From whence we come, so shall we return.  Not sure of the origin of this phrase.  Ironically, chances are good that it comes from that very book. Or Book if you prefer.  The idea, however seems more likely to me than the hubris-laden presumption of individuality.  I picture a huge cloud, made of Brownian swirls of... what... souls? ideas?  life-forces?  Not even necessarily a physical thing, but particularly opposite of that.  What comes out of the cloud is somewhat affected by what had gone in (thus allowing for notions of karma and sin and such) but the only commonality between that which exits and that which enters is the cloud itself. The cycle is birth life death birth and that which breaks that cycle is nirvana.   Maybe because I know it best, have studied it longest, but it just feels right to me -- this philosophy is like an amorphous shroud that can conform and distort its details to fit into over and around other beliefs.  Like the video of the octopus changing its color and texture so as to be indistinguishable from the nearby coral, Buddhism is flexible yet distinct; general yet specific; speaks and feels to many things, but is truly about one thing: no thing.  mu

some poetry

10/2008

At times, the merest
of glimpses into the infinite
is just enough

The cold breath of night;
peering up at the Vast Black,
pinprick'd and unknown




4/2007
drawing parallels
tarsals tucked in surging froth
watching sandpipers



4/2007
let us not idly
sit on the shore, in the rushes
as worlds collide

Bucheon Bus Trip (stream of consciousness)

EMart again this time by bus
Bucheon beauty so close so far
Coffee pot buy aborted
Hard sellers in any hemisphere
Winestain lip phenotypical
epicanthically folded
Heavy lids swaying and ducking the handles

Saw a woman smoking today
A first in four weeks
She saw me see her, seemed
defiant
But I was merely surprised, not
judgemental
As fingers pulse across this
touchscreen now
I fit in, head nodded towards the
LCD, firmly out of
the moment -- the death of right effort

A hopeful glance from the only other
heavyweight here
I know sister, it's rough but the
donuts taste so damn good

How to read the girl's shirt behind
me, something like 1 2 so fuck you

I wonder if people realize what
their shit says...

Drunk and passed out on EMart's
lawn yet again
Swastikasa taking on new(old)
meaning here
Lotus blossoms not storm troopers

3 things Go Fuck Yourself?
More reason than this to stare at
her shirt
But damn she's a brick house -- god
bless mini skirts

20.1%

참이슬

참 : truth or verity

이슬 : dew, dewdrop; tear, teardop
: (more alarmingly) vaginal discharge?

hmmm, so I'm going to take the meaning as "Dewdrop of Truth". Not bad I guess. Along the lines of "In vino veritas" but fresher? Leaving an oh so clean feeling?

Liking the frog logo.

This stuff is not so bad, I just poured myself a Han-screwdriver, replete with Jeju Island mandarin juice -- tasty!

First impressions...

Neon piedmont mist shrouded cityscape
Mudflat fish culture amidst metropolitan bridges
Highways, the same everywhere though.


Off to find the electric converters needed to fuel my geek fix...

Hope I make it back...

"Set loose upon the world" or "Homeless...for now"

Here I am, shoulders aching from stuffed-too-full bags, waiting in eager anticipation for the adventures to follow. Too many song titles have preceded this moment for me to avoid the crashing feelings of unoriginality--into the great wide open, stepping into the void, on the road again, these boots are made for walking, learning to fly. All I know is that it feels great; who knew that uncertainty could feel so damn sweet?

It's 3:42 AM, FLL, and I beat the staff here. Time to check some bags and plop this hirsute posterior down into a Korea-bound Economy seat...

I can't imagine not using this...

I've been using AdBlock on any browser I use for a while now. I take if for granted now that my web surfing will be relatively free of banner ads, flashing crap and noisy distractions. It's great. What really surprises me is that so many people seem to *not* use any kind of adblocking stuff. When I ask them about it, a lot of time the reply, 'Oh, I don't mind the ads, I just ignore them." or "The popup ads on youtube don't bother me, I just click them away" !!! Wow. That is craziness to me. Not only are they ugly and distracting, they slow down your browsing, and add time to the loadup of web pages. I don't know. I guess the ad-watchers can be lauded for wanting to give their favorite websites the ability to make a little revenue, but it's not for me.

Here's some links, in case you have a white belt in Google-fu:

Google Chrome

Safari

Firefox

Shit's about to get real...

I'll be honest--I was starting to give up hope, I resigned myself to resuming the job search here in this reclaimed swamp of a state, Florida. I was starting to think, hmmm maybe I should enroll in a TESOL class, I'll be able to finish it before I get my damned background check back from the Feds. But then, after a frigid day in the field (62 degree (F) water is chilly even to my northern ass), there it is, you beautiful plain brown envelope containing a single sheet of paper, verifying my lack of criminal record! CHYEAH. Shit's about to get real.

Land of the Morning Calm? Prepare your damn self -- the Morning Turtle approaches!

순두부 & oatmeal

Sound nasty? Well, don't knock it, it was a pretty good combo. (low calorie as well) The 순두부 지게 (sundubu jigae) was made with 촌각된장 (chon gak doen jang) so was very potent (haha oh yeah) and also had the requisite 호박 (zucchini squash) & pork & onions & 순두부. See, the problem is, oatmeal is bland, and the "normal" things to eat it with tend towards the sweet and fruity, while I prefer savory elements - they just help me feel fuller. I dunno. I've read that people mix in a tbsp. of natural peanut butter, but again, I classify PB as more sweet than savory. My father treats oatmeal and cream of wheat as 축 (gruel) (which it *is* I suppose) and happily eats it plain with dabs of 간장 (soy sauce) but that feels weird to me.

I could've made an egg white omelette, but I feel wasteful ditching all those yolks - maybe I can save them and incorporate them into a bait ball or chum ball... hmmm, interesting possibility, using egg yolk as a binder to the random oatmeal and fish parts that I would create chum ball out of... that could work.

Well, anyway, according to my handy dandy MyFitnessPal iPod app (blech, sorry to use such a buzzy phrase), my brekkie only amounted to 421 calories. Shazaam!

Let's try this again....

Are the new viewers gone yet?

Ah, ZeFrank, you sure knew how to maintain a blog and garner interest (and memes) in your reader/viewership!

I, on the other hand, am shit at blogging, apparently -- but here's to new efforts! To the 2 followers of this blog - Hey! Betcha didn't expect a post from me today!

Yeah, so I have some new credentials, I got fingerprinted yesterday & sent them to the Feds this morning. Now I gotta polish up the ol' resume, get some small photos taken & make a video about meself. Along the way, saving a bit of cash would be good too. Gotta decide where I'm aiming at (thinking Incheon/Bucheon/Suwon area) and then find a job! So yeah! Finally, (well maybe in a couple months) R.O.K. here I come!

Should be a hoot...

We real cool. We

Left school. We

Lurk late. We

Strike straight. We

Sing sin. We

Thin gin. We

Jazz June. We

Die soon.

Gwendolyn Brooks

big egg

This speaks for itself...

the Auto-Tune bandwagon

I admit it, the Geek in Korea already blogged about these guys, which is how I got turned onto them, but their vids are just too cool, so dammit, I'm posting them in here as well...

and also the followup to this:

oh yeah and here's the Geek in Korea's blog : http://blog.torgodevil.com/

yeah

fish list

I caught my first bluefish yesterday! In retrospect, I should've kept it, but I really didn't feel like cleaning it, and the guy fishing next to me was eager to take it home, so I gave it to him. I had questioned whether it was of legal size, thinking the limit was 16" (my fish was 16.75"), but I just checked the regs, and I was way legal (size limit is 12") oh well. Anyway, I figured it's a good time to make a knock list of the fish I've caught thus far...

Bluefish (16.75")

Snook (26")

Black tip Shark (4')

Bonnethead Shark (4.5')

Snapper

Mangrove

Lane

Mutton

Longnose Gar (25")

Spotted Seatrout (27")

Black Drum (21")

Croaker (20")

Whiting (16")

Sheepshead (19")

Pompano (12")

Spanish Mackerel (16")

Pike (25")

Grouper

Goliath (15 lbs)

Gag (23")

Trash fish:

Sailtop Catfish (9 lbs)

Ladyfish

Pufferfish

Toadfish

stingrays

Baitfish:

Mullet

Threadfin herring

Pilchards

Pass crabs

Blue crabs

Sand fleas

Fish I'd like to catch

Red fish (Red drum)

Slot Snook (28"-32")

Tripletail

Spadefish

Tarpon

Cobia

Bonefish

Wahoo

Snakehead

Mayan Cichlid

Maybe I'll upload pictures later, don't feel like it at the mo'

know your limits

So I caught my first pompano today while surf fishing, but because I didn't know the size limits, I threw it back, not wanting to take an undersized fish (and risk getting fined by the local Wildlife Commision).  Now that I check the regulations, I realize that my fish was indeed of legal size, and could have graced my dinner plate tonight.  Dammit. As mentioned, it was my first pompano, so it would have been nice to eat it.  They're supposed to be good eating too, so that kinda sucks.  Here's what they look like...

Just goes to show, you should know your limits..

Korean movies

So I just saw Chingoo, (which actually came out years ago, but whatever) it was really good.  I haven't updated in a while, but since I have many school assignments due and tests to study for, this seemed like a perfect way to procrastinate even further.  Other popular ways (for me) to procrastinate: watch some Korean tv shows, like Family Outing 

or 1N2D

or read other people's blogs: Seoul Patch, Amanda Takes Off, Geek in Korea, FoodWishes

or otherwise think of ways to geek out and become even more antisocial

check please

critical assignments, classroom observation, excel spreadsheets, planning to drink this thursday, fishing poorly lately, not catching much, not going out, threw a par +6 on a 9 hole disc golf course yesterday, 4' black snake scared the shit out of me on an awry throw on the 7th hole, that was exciting, journal article reviews, skyping with friends, information security, check this shit out

speaking of that, Slumdog Millionaire was a really good movie, as was Taken and Religulous and Gran Turismo. Good stuff. Enjoyable.

Historicality

Wow. I fell asleep I must admit, eye-weary from result tracking, switching between browser tabs, comparing coverages. I woke up at 2am and I see that I slept through a historical moment (though I guess one may argue that every moment bears a small history to be made..), and that something that many might have thought impossible has happened. Craziness. I watched his victory speech, he seems a good orator, and I have a feeling that he pronounces the word "nuclear" correctly, so that's good. I dunno. Feels pretty good.

Saw this on ZeFrank's blog earlier today, found it to be the funny...